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A Squoggle Comes Home to Roost (5,100 words)

Callously teasing his son over his fear of the dark, Dad invents a squoggle — a shady presence that lurks in the darkness under young Kenny's bed, purportedly ever poised to come out and 'get' his ankles. In a surprising and moving feat of heroism Kenny comes to terms with this uncalled-for presence, succeeding in making a series of decisions with far-reaching consequences. He is enabled to take a positive view of his parents and the world. The parents are revealed as fundamentally good people, behaving cruelly only as a result of hurts inflicted upon them in their childhood. Healing is still possible. The father's evil words are upturned and fed back as love and understanding — in an unexpected way.

(NOTE: Although this story is written as from the viewpoint of a young boy, it wasn't written as a children's story.)

Johnny's WHAT? (4,600 words)

Out in remotest mid-Devon something is found which is so ridiculous and absurd that the very mention of it sets people howling with laughter. Isn't this just what the world needs? Apparently not: things start going wrong. Mr Grurdlesquat's death and a crashed bus; closed shops; non-arrival of local newspaper;disruption of radio programmes — and what is the connection between all this and two lizards that answer, with silent laughter, to the names Julius Caesar and Nero? As the Old Ones say, there be things in that river that we best not know….

The Call of the Wind (10,000 words)

Chapter headings:

1. Encounter and pursuit

2. Conception

3. Gestation, delivery and duet

4. Going steady

5. Attack

6. Remembrance

7. A mystery

8. Consummation

A witch, a bare bottom, wildest Darkmoor (sic), friendship and death are all ingredients of this story of Kevin, a young boy with a positive outlook on the world, who uses reasoning power to enable him to respond constructively to some unusual situations. He is dedicated to an active, creative way of life, and in his adulthood produces fine paintings and music. The date of a childhood event has an uncanny hold on him when it comes round each year. The old witch of Crowleigh turns in her grave, a song is in the wind, and the ending, arrived at through a chain of surprising events, seems remarkably like predetermination at work.

Of Wolves and Pigs and Musical Things (4,400 words)

Two strong-minded young girls explore in London and discover strange things. London is like a weird dream, the first discovery being a Scrotch auction in Poxford Street, where insults — not prices — are what people are bidding. What have a 'naughty' film show in Hoho Square and an extraordinary concert in the Queen Elizabeth Hall in common? Very restive audiences, it seems. There follows a visit to the International Eructation Centre, where a competition is in progress, then finally to the Zoo, via Moscow Central and Queue Gardens. But where's the wolf? There is cause for concern!

Nothing, Sweet Nothings (10,100 words)

Chapter headings:

1. In the Beginning was the P*ssy

2. That Word and other apparitions

3. From under the purple shroud

4. On the horrors of strange men, rhubarb and budding intellectuals

5. Grand awakening to a naked singularity

6. A scheme for nervous wreckage

7. Nothing, absolutely nothing wrong

8. In the End was the…

   N.B. Actually I have no coyness about the odd taboo or risqué words in my literary works, but on my websites it has been necessary to place a few asterisk-shaped fig leaves upon certain words to avoid getting pointlessly blacklisted in parental control software.

   You think I'm being a bit paranoid about that? — Well, you can think again. In April 2017 I had Kaspersky Internet Security parental controls (which I had never even chosen to be active) blocking this very site on the basis of alleged 'obscenity / profanity'!

A striking precursor to the Author's novels, this is no simple story. It's more like an array of interlocking pictures and pictures within pictures. We have many layers to explore. Like one of those occasional labyrinthine dreams the story is full of multiple meanings and it follows logical pathways that seem to be a law unto themselves. There's satire and allegory here in plenty, presented with a mischievous sense of humour. Some of the imagery is obvious to the point of caricature, but much is far more elusive, rewarding successive re-readings.

On the face of it, most of the story revolves around Rodney, a seemingly faceless (sic) individual living a contented, passive life. He apparently never leaves his house (why should he when he has his very own feline companion?) and spends nearly all his waking time watching the television, his explorations being limited to occasionally looking out of the windows. His one active interest, however, is a grotesque and morbid one.

What is the secret of the bones around the doormat and Rodney's occasional visits to the room of the purple shroud? Rodney and his feline companion are supposedly the only occupants of the house, yet there are occasional visitations from something — or rather, nothing — creaking down the stairs with a woman's moan.

Something odd has happened to the passage of time, possibly as a consequence of a 'naked singularity' somewhere in the universe. There is a conspiracy by a small minority of grotesquely deformed people to disrupt television programmes. And despite an official denial it does rather seem that a volcano is developing under the neighbourhood.

These are just a few of the many strands in a chaotic picture that builds up. The final chapter has a surprise for us, shedding a totally new — and beautiful — light on the story in true surrealistic fashion.

The Gift of a Quackodile (2,200 words)

John Smith breaks off from writing a story about a quackodile, to go to bed. How he'd like to write a simpler quackodile story, more suitable for his young daughters! He stays up late, watching the distant lightning of an approaching storm, when he hears something moving downstairs. He may feel afraid, but it will have to be investigated….

Tasty Morsels (5,800 words)

The International Throop Clump Festival depends on a huge supply of Danish pastries — the traditional staple diet of the crowds at the Festival. This time there is a problem, however: the pastries have other ideas. Such a potentially entertaining aberration soon turns out to be something more sinister. The newly released fantasy film centred on the Festival is showing at the local cinema: a poster says 'AFTER YOU'VE SEEN THIS THERE WILL BE NO TOMORROW!'. This empty rhetoric begins to look prophetic…

Madonna with Child (4,000 words)

Undoubtedly the world would benefit from another Messiah. It looks increasingly as though Trudy and Wil are the chosen parents, with a succession of events which bear uncanny resemblances to some of those in the traditional Christmas story. But it's now almost the 22nd Century, and much is new and different this time.

Dark Horse (3,400 words)

Chapter headings:

1. Trick

2. We're asleep

3. Waste disposal

4. Family reunion

It's Halloween in the pub. The front doorbell rings and a cloaked figure with devil mask darkens the atmosphere. There is a sinister 'trick' and a death, then a skeleton and more police questioning. At last the horror is all over, and everything's set for improvement, isn't it? But no, not quite: a disturbing and very strange event in the final chapter leaves the publican with much to think about.

Help Line (3,200 words)

The country is becoming healthier as confectionery sales plummet and many dentists lose their jobs. The Managing Director of Seirac Latned Confections PLC, however, has a special telephone line with which he can summon help in the face of the company's threatened demise.

As once again he calls for help, curiously he seems oblivious of some shady if not downright satanic features of the Help Line service. His accountant is concerned to know what the cost will be, but events overtake them. Yes, Mr Stickey, there is a price!

Sheepish Negotiations (4,800 words)

Chapter headings:

1. Just droppings in

2. On constipation, currant affairs and cruelty

3. What sheep?

A disturbing allegory in sheep's clothing. Mr Nobbins comes home one day from holiday to find that — yes -there's a sheep in his flat in London suburbia, despite all doors and windows still being intact and locked. Getting rid of it, he discovers, isn't a simple matter. BAAAAA!

A Monastic Weekend (6,300 words)

Did it ever cross your mind that one day some lunatic might write a non-romantic, non-titillating thought-provoking story about two 'gay' men having a naughty weekend in a monastery? No? Well, in that case this one should be a delicious surprise.

The story relates an extraordinary stay in the guest house of Bustead Abbey, with monkey business, surprising discoveries, an insane pub-crawl, much pause for thought and an outrageous sermon by a gay priest cum incurable clown with the unlikely name of Father Godly. The Author has a little trick up his sleeve, to play at some point in the story. 

Old Boots for New Wine (2,200 words)

A long walk on Darkmoor (sic). The inevitable worn-out hiking boots and worn-out sweaty socks. Celebration with a world-famous locally produced wine. But why so much gloom and doom for the Ixeter group of the Ramblers' Association? All will be revealed!

The Man Who Turned Into a Shoe (4,100 words)

Quietly, outrageously bizarre (some straight-laced people will undoubtedly blush), this is the story of a certain Mr Seraph Madley, who one day comes home from work to find a mysterious shoe in his male lover's bed — the man apparently having gone out for a while. To Seraph's considerable alarm and consternation, that confounded shoe has a most embarrassing effect upon him. A disconcerting rigour of dream-like logic directs this entertaining narrative to its impossible yet inevitable conclusion.