1. A SQUOGGLE COMES HOME TO ROOST
Callously teasing his son over his fear of the dark, Dad invents a squoggle - a shady presence that lurks in the darkness under young Kenny's bed, ever poised to come out and 'get' his ankles. In a surprising and moving feat of heroism Kenny comes to terms with this uncalled-for presence, succeeding in making a series of decisions with far-reaching consequences. He is enabled to take a positive view of his parents and the world. The parents are revealed as fundamentally good people, behaving cruelly only as a result of hurts inflicted upon them in their childhood. Healing is still possible. The father's evil words are upturned and fed back as love and understanding - in an unexpected way.
(NOTE: Although this story is written as from the viewpoint of a young boy, it has not been written as a children's story.)
2. JOHNNY'S WHAT?
Out in remotest mid-Devon something is found which is so
ridiculous and absurd that the very mention of it sets people howling
with laughter. Isn't this just what the world needs? Apparently not:
things start going wrong. Mr Grurdlesquat's death and a crashed bus;
closed shops; non-arrival of local newspaper; disruption of radio
programmes - and what is the connection between all this and two
lizards that answer, with silent laughter, to the names Julius Caesar
and Nero? As the Old Ones say, there be things in that river that we
best not know....
3.
THE CALL OF
THE WIND
(Mary
Had a
Little Bear)
Chapter headings:
- Encounter and pursuit
- Conception
- Gestation, delivery and duet
- Going steady
- Attack
- Remembrance
- A mystery
- Consummation
A witch, a bare bottom, wildest Darkmoor, friendship and
death
are all ingredients of this story of Kevin, a young boy with a positive
outlook on the world, who uses reasoning power to enable him to respond
constructively to some unusual situations. He is dedicated to an
active, creative way of life, and in his adulthood produces fine
paintings and music. The date of a childhood event has an uncanny hold
on him when it comes round each year. The old witch of Crowleigh turns
in her grave, a song is in the wind, and the ending, arrived at through
a chain of surprising events, seems remarkably like predetermination at
work.
4. OF WOLVES AND PIGS AND MUSICAL THINGS
Two strong-minded young girls explore in London and
discover
strange things. London is like a weird dream, the first discovery being
a Scrotch auction in Poxford Street, where insults - not prices - are
what people are bidding. What have a 'naughty' film show in Hoho Square
and an extraordinary concert in the Queen Elizabeth Hall in common?
Very restive audiences, it seems. There follows a visit to the
International Eructation Centre, where a competition is in progress,
then finally to the Zoo, via Moscow Central and Queue Gardens. But
where's the wolf? There is cause for concern!
5. NOTHING, SWEET NOTHINGS
Chapter headings:
- In the Beginning was the Pussy
- That Word and other apparitions
- From under the purple shroud
- On the horrors of strange men, rhubarb and budding intellectuals
- Grand awakening to a naked singularity
- A scheme for nervous wreckage
- Nothing, absolutely nothing wrong
- In the End was the...
A striking precursor to the novels, this is no simple story. It is more like an array of interlocking pictures and pictures within pictures. We have many layers to explore. Like one of those occasional labyrinthine dreams the story is full of multiple meanings and it follows logical pathways that seem to be a law unto themselves. There is satire and allegory here in plenty, presented with a mischievous sense of humour. Some of the imagery is obvious to the point of caricature, but much is far more elusive, rewarding successive re-readings.
On the face of it, most of the story revolves around Rodney, a seemingly faceless (sic) individual living a contented, passive life. He apparently never leaves his house (why should he when he has his very own pussy?) and spends nearly all his waking time watching the television, his explorations being limited to occasionally looking out of the windows. His one active interest, however, is a grotesque and morbid one.
What is the secret of the bones around the doormat and Rodney's occasional visits to the room of the purple shroud? Rodney and Pussy are supposedly the only occupants of the house, yet there are occasional visitations from something - or rather, nothing - creaking down the stairs with a woman's moan. Something odd has happened to the passage of time, possibly as a consequence of a 'naked singularity' somewhere in the universe. There is a conspiracy by a small minority of grotesquely deformed people to disrupt television programmes. And despite an official denial it does rather seem that a volcano is developing under the neighbourhood.
These are just a few of the many strands in a chaotic
picture
that builds up. The final chapter has a surprise for us, shedding a
totally new - and beautiful - light on the story in true surrealistic
fashion.
6. THE GIFT OF A QUACKODILE
John Smith breaks off from writing a story about a
quackodile,
to go to bed. How he'd like to write a simpler quackodile story, more
suitable for his young daughters! He stays up late, watching the
distant lightning of an approaching storm, when he hears something
moving downstairs. He may feel afraid, but it will have to be
investigated....
7. TASTY MORSELS
The International Throop Clump Festival depends on a
huge
supply of Danish pastries - the traditional staple diet of the crowds
at the Festival. This time there is a problem, however: the pastries
have other ideas. Such a potentially entertaining aberration soon turns
out to be something more sinister. The newly released fantasy film
centred on the Festival is showing at the local cinema: a poster says
'AFTER YOU'VE SEEN THIS THERE WILL BE NO
TOMORROW!'. This
empty rhetoric begins to look prophetic.
8. MADONNA WITH CHILD
Undoubtedly the world would benefit from another
Messiah. It
looks increasingly as though Trudy and Wil are the chosen parents, with
a succession of events which bear uncanny resemblances to some of those
in the traditional Christmas story. But it's now almost the 22nd
Century, and much is new and different this time.
9. DARK HORSE
Chapter headings:
- Trick
- We're asleep
- Waste disposal
- Family reunion
It's Halloween in the pub. The front doorbell rings and
a
cloaked figure with devil mask darkens the atmosphere. There is a
sinister 'trick' and a death, then a skeleton and more police
questioning. At last the horror is all over, and everything's set for
improvement, isn't it? But no, not quite: a disturbing and very strange
event in the final chapter leaves the publican with much to think about.
10. HELP LINE
The country is becoming healthier as confectionery sales plummet and many dentists lose their jobs. The Managing Director of Seirac Latned Confections PLC, however, has a special telephone line with which he can summon help in the face of the company's threatened demise.
As once again he calls for help, curiously he seems
oblivious
of some shady if not downright satanic features of the Help Line
service. His accountant is concerned to know what the cost will be, but
events overtake them. Yes, Mr Stickey, there is a price!
11. SHEEPISH NEGOTIATIONS
Chapter headings:
- Just droppings in
- On constipation, currant affairs and cruelty
- What sheep?
This story is a disturbing allegory in sheep's clothing.
Mr
Nobbins comes home one day from holiday to find that - yes - there's a
sheep in his flat in London suburbia, despite all doors and windows
still being intact and locked. Getting rid of it, he discovers, is not
a simple matter. BAAAAA!
12. A MONASTIC WEEKEND
Did it ever cross your mind that one day some lunatic might write a non-romantic, non-titillating thought-provoking story about two 'gay' men having a naughty weekend in a monastery? No? Well in that case this one should be a delicious surprise.
The story relates an extraordinary stay in the guest
house of
Bustead Abbey, with monkey business, surprising discoveries, an insane
pub-crawl, much pause for thought and an outrageous sermon by a gay
priest cum incurable clown with the unlikely name of Father Godly. The
narrative finally leads to a scandalous revelation about the author.
Tabloid newspapers, eat your hearts out!
13. OLD BOOTS FOR NEW WINE
A long walk on Darkmoor. The inevitable worn-out hiking
boots
and worn-out sweaty socks. Celebration with a
world-famous locally
produced wine. But why so much gloom and doom for the Ixeter group of
the Ramblers' Association? All will be revealed!
14. THE MAN WHO TURNED INTO A SHOE
Quietly, outrageously bizarre (some straight-laced
people will
undoubtedly blush), this is the story of a certain Mr Seraph Madley,
who one day comes home from work to find a mysterious shoe in his male
lover's bed - the man apparently having gone out for a while. To
Seraph's considerable alarm and consternation, that confounded shoe has
a most embarrassing effect upon him. A disconcerting rigour of
dream-like logic directs this entertaining narrative to its impossible
yet inevitable conclusion.